This morning, I park my car, open the door and step out and there’s something crunchy under my foot.  I lift my foot to see what it is and it’s friggin’ nail clippings!  Some asshole has been clipping their nails in the parking garage!  What the hell is wrong with people?  And I’m not talking about one or two here.  I could understand if someone ripped off a nagging hangnail and then flicked it away in the parking lot.  I’m talking about a whole set of 10 fingers here.  Someone actually realized that their nails were long enough to scrape their rectums as they wipe, and decided to take care of the issue right then and there.

This is a more widespread problem than you think. There was this asshole where I worked at about 9 years ago.  His office was directly across from my cubicle and this douchebag clipped his finger nails AND his fucking toe nails in his office all the time. This guy was as disgusting as they got. He actually didn’t wash his hands after taking a dump in the toilet (I witnessed this SEVERAL times).  I’m sure he didn’t subscribe to the urinal etiquette either. In case you’re wondering, this jerk looked like this (yes, with a comb over):

As I said, this is a widespread problem. I watch a lot of professional basketball games, and I loved watching the Sacramento Kings in the early 2000s, especially when they were going against the Lakers. However, I couldn’t watch the games without a bucket within reach. It’s because this asshole Mike Bibby ALWAYS clipped his nails when sitting on the bench and they would ALWAYS zoom in on him, consequently causing me to discard whatever I had eaten that day. Although I couldn’t find a picture, this behavior has been well documented. He did this ALL THE TIME.  You’d think he’d run out of fingernails. Aww, go to hell Mike Bibby!

I don’t care who you are. If you are cutting your fingernails in public, you are an asshole.  GFY.

-Walter